For years, the government had kept a lid on the whole zombie thing. Whenever one was spotted, Zombie Action Police quickly snatched up, beheaded and ashed the zombie remains.
Most people never saw a zombie. Most people didn’t believe in zombies. Zombies were “urban legends”.
But when the cities got too crowded, the zombies went nuts. Zombies were everywhere. Their numbers swelled exponentially.
Maryanne Mason the Senator from New York became one of the biggest zombie “hawks.” This was considered quite a change of direction from her normally left-leaning politics.
“Finally, you get to take out your aggression on men,” her husband, Tom, said in his fey little voice.
“Zombies are women too, although once zombification sets in, they act like men,” she replied.
“Touché,” he said.
“Of course that probably isn’t an insult to you.”
“With our pre-nup, you can call me whatever you want. Most people call me rich. I call myself set for life.”
She devoted herself to the zombie problem.
She criss-crossed the country speaking on behalf of the Live Human Self-Protection Act, which gave attractive tax breaks for purchasing firearms. Headshots were the most effective means of self-defense against zombies.
But still the zombies multiplied.
Then came the Zombie Control Act, which made zombie hunting legal. Maryanne Mason co-sponsored the bill.
On the day it passed, she walked into the study of their spacious home in upper-state New York.
“I didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” Tom said, as he quickly turned off the computer. Porn again.
“By the way, congrats. The "Let's Kill Zombies" legislation was brilliant. Even the conservative pundits are calling it a very smart political move. There’s talk of a presidential run, I hear. It would just be too delicious to party in Lincoln’s bedroom,” he said.
“Yes, I feel the bill was smart in many ways. I worded it very carefully. Note the phrase: ‘suspected of being a zombie,’” she said. She pulled the gun out of her purse and pulled the trigger. His head became a fine red mist.
Bio: r2 works by day in the corporate world and by night in the world of dreams. He has been published in Muzzle Flash.